voice from the edge of forever

Conviction

I come before you as a convicted man. Though Jesus tells us to love our neighbor as ourselves....well, let me tell you about my neighbors. Of the seven immediate neighbors of ours, we know three of them well, incidently, the three that have lived there the longest. We are somewhat close with two others, and another just moved in. We have met them once, and hope to get to know them better. Of the two remaining neighbors, one we choose not to assocaite with, for the simple reason that they are very, very strange. Paranoid, tape black paper over the windows strange. In a way, they choose not to know any of us. But it is the last neighbor I want to confess about. They live behind us, and though we are only seperated by a 4' chain link fence, we never really have talked to them. I cannot even tell you their names. They have lived there for five years. Their kids would play in the backyard, and my daughter tried to strike up a friendship with their daughter, who is two years younger, without success. The only time I saw the parents out, was when one of them would mow the lawn, which was not very often, once a month, at best. And the way our streets are laid out, it is a six block trek to go around the block and knock on their front door. So, we chose to live and let live. The good thing is that I never gossiped about them (or any of my neighbors, for that matter) with the other neighbors, even though the deteriorating condition of the house and yard invited it. I had noticed last summer, and again this year, that the wife was the only one to mow the lawn now. Last year, I had simply chalked it up to laziness on his part, as he was a very ample kind of guy. This year, I wondered if there had been a divorce, or something. So, I ignored my self imposed rules about snooping, and I asked the neighbors that live next to them; "Did they get divorced, or something?" The answer I got floored me. "No, he died" she told me. I asked when, and she told me that he died two years ago. TWO YEARS AGO. How does someone live next door to someone and not know that they lost a spouse, and a dad? How can I love my neighbor, when I don't even truly know the ones closest to me? And how do I approach this woman with offers to help out with her home and yard, two years after the fact? I am resolving to get to know my neighbors better, even the ones who are sure the government is spying on them. My understanding is that most people these days make no effort to get to know their neighbors. But it should not be like that. How are we to show our love of Christ to others, when we don't even bother to try to meet them. This is the question that convicts me today. My prayer is that we will all reach out to our neighbors, even the ones that are difficult to meet. That we can show God's love through our kindness and compassion. God bless you all, Ken

posted by the voice @ 8:58 AM 8 comments

Testimonies...

I have had a number of "God moments" in Guatemala on my trips. I've already related the very real story of the baby being healed, which was a life altering experience for me, in a spiritual sense. I had another experience, that while not as spectacular, was just as life altering, and much more personal. It happened on my first trip to Guatemala. When we were preparing to go, our Pastor told us to each prepare a testimony to share in the local churches. Now, you have to understand, I am deathly afraid of speaking in front of people. It terrifies me, a lot. So I was not too terribly enthused about the idea, but I threw something together about coming to Christ, you know, the standard fare, short, easy and quick. Well, once we were down there working, testimonies were quickly forgotten about. Then, I believe, it on was Saturday, David told us we were going to go to one of the prisons that he ministered at. And not only were we visiting, but we would be giving our testimonies. Now, the thought of giving a testimony was bad enough, but to have to do it in a prison was more than I could take. Just the thought of walking in, and having the doors locked behind us was teriffying. And to top it all off, I realized the testimony I had prepared would not be appropriate for this particular "audience." So I quickly began to try to put together a new testimony, even as we were driving. When we finally arrived at the prison, I was a nervous wreck. It took all I had to walk through those doors, and into the prison itself. I was even more nervous as I looked around, and noticed that there were very few guards. "Who is going to protect us" I thought to myself. They led us up to a large meeting room, where we waited as they went to get the men. Actually, most were boys, really, being aound 16 or 17 years of age, although some were in their 20's. Some were there simply for being homeless, while others were there for crimes as serious as murder. Hearing this did nothing to ease my anxiety. When everyone was assembled, we began. I was the third person to speak. I really did not have much put together to say, and I didn't know how I was going to get through it. I remember walking to the front, looking at the translator, and wishing I could run and hide. Instead, I closed my eyes and said a quick prayer. Then I began speaking. What happened next amazes me to this day. First, the nervouness disappeared. Second, where I had no idea what to say before, now the words just began flowing out of me. Then the thing that has stayed with me the most happened. I looked out at the men I was speaking to, and I could see it in their eyes; they were listening to me! Not only that, they were really interested, transfixed, on what I was saying. The words and emotions really began to pour out of then, and before I knew it, I was finished. As I sat down to applause, I felt good. It wasn't until later that I realized that perhaps my words had changed someones life, or at least made them think. Then it dawned on me. I remembered my prayer, the calm, and how the words flowed, and I realized; it wasn't me. It was the power of the Holy Spiritcalmed me, that enabled me to get up there and talk, and it was the Holy Spirit that gave me the words speak. I was merely a vessel. This lesson awoke in me a passion for sharing. I still am terrified in front of groups, but by praying, and turning it over to God, I have found it to be not only enjoyable, but spiritually uplifting also. I try to use the same approach on this blog, posting as I feel the Spirit lead me, for without the Spirit, my words are empty. So my prayer for myself, and each of you, is that we may all be filled with the Spirit, and that we may do as we are being led. God bless all of you, Ken

posted by the voice @ 8:00 AM 5 comments

Special Post

This post is for Tim, who commented on my post about Unidos en Cristo. I don't know if you will see this, but I have a feeling you will. I'm sorry that the weekend was not everything you hoped for. Perhaps I can help you figure out why. you stated you were disappointed in not seeing God that weekend. Wait, that's not in your comments, how would I know that? Because, my brother, you were sitting at the same table as me last weekend. I remember you commenting on the same issues, and especially the part about not wearing a watch. I knew that you were not happy, and I hoped you would talk about it. That was why , during our talk group, I suggested that you had something to say. And you missed the part where God was working. It wasn't in the healing of J. We both know that he did not recieve physical healing. I believe that God eased his pain, but He did not heal him. And it is not because of any inferred sin in his life. No, I believe that there are some issues of honesty that need to be dealt with there. So where was God, then? Right in front of you. You did not see because you allowed yourself to be distracted. That is why they ask that you not bring a cell phone or a watch. The idea is to focus competely on Jesus. By instead focusing on the very distractions they tried to remove, you were already defeated. You see, God was at work by putting you in the same group as me. I told you my major spiritual gift is discernment. Well I could tell, as the weekend progressed, that you had some issue in your spiritual life that you did not want to talk about. My guess would be that you are beginning to doubt God, even though, as you put it, you were brought up in the church your whole life. Which is why you stated that you wanted to see God that weekend. If you don't believe that we were put together for a reason, consider this. When you did your Google search on Unidos en Cristo, out of all the blogs out there, what are the odds you would end up at mine, leaving a comment to boot. That is how God works, little nudges and whispers, not big firework shows. If you want to feel Gods presence, and to hear His voice, you have to start truly worshiping Him. That was what the weekend was about, and that is what you failed to do. When you came to this blog, the cloud over your eyes did not even allow you to recognize me. My prayer is that you will see the truth in what I'm saying, and that you will begin to truly reach out to God. Only then will you truly hear or see Him. I would love to help you work through this, if you wish. I hope to see you on Sunday. Maybe we can get together, perhaps visit each others church. Oh, and I believe that somehow God will draw you back to read this. That is how He works. May God bless you and your family, Ken

posted by the voice @ 2:26 PM 3 comments

Life Unlimited

I was thinking about my first mission trip to Guatemala. I have taken numerous trips there to help build an orphanage for boys who are either off the streets, or at risk of ending up there. Actually, it is more of a group home setting, with the campus being set up with a number of "homes," each of which will house six to eight boys, as well as a set of "parents." The whole thing was actually a vision of David and Becky Dvorak, two of the most faith filled people I have ever met. And when I say vision, I am not kidding. One day when David was having lunch with a friend, he literally was hit in the head with an actual, God given vision of not only the ministry they would be doing, but of exactly what the property would look like. So when he started looking at property to buid on, he was literally looking for this exact property that would match his vision. In fact, he went to look at a one lot, and saw a lot right by it that was the one from his vision. It wasn't even for sale, but turned out that the owner was thinking of selling it, so they settled on a price, and the rest is history. Well, not quite....You see, the Dvoraks didn't have any money. They were running a little store front ministry to street kid's in Guatemamla City, and operating on a shoestring budget as it was. Now they had some big payments coming due. Did they panic, or start begging? No. They sent an e-mail that simply stated their vision, talked about the property, and stated the price of the land. And they prayed. They had the first teams come down, teams which raised their own construction costs, and started building before the first payment was made. The first building was finished, and a second started before the payment finally came due. With a sizeable amount of money due in one week, they had managed to bank the incredible amount of....nothing. All the money they had coming in was going to the building projects, which now looked at risk of being lost with the land. But David and Becky had such a faith, that they never doubted for a second that God would provide the money needed. And, in fact, two days before it was due, Their parent organization called and informed them that a couple churches had raised money for them. The amount raised was exactly the amount they needed. Exactly. And, over the years, this is how I have watched them operate, never worrying about whether money or other needs are going to be met; they KNOW that they are going to be met. The homes they build are called Life Homes, and their ministry is called Life Unlimited. (Vida Unlimitada) They could just as well call it Faith unlimited, for that is what they have.They have been the lesson for me, that if you turn over all your needs to God, He will be faithful. I am sorry to say, though, that I have not been anywhere near as faithful as David and Becky at turning over control. I do know, however, that God has a plan for me, and I try to turn over a little more control all the time. One day I will reach the faith of the Dvoraks, and I will live whatever life God has in store for me. Until then, it's all about taking steps, steps that bring me closer to God's plan. I pray that we all can realize the plan God has for us, and that we all can give Him control, that we can also have unwavering faith in our glorious Father. Can I get a great big Amen to that, brothers and sisters? God bless you all today, Ken

posted by the voice @ 5:57 AM 5 comments

I'm back!

Wow....that's all I can say. My Unidas en Cristos weekend was unbelievable. I do now understand why they ask those who have gone through not to talk about it. I will share a little, but even that will have to wait, as my wife will be doing hers this coming weekend, and I do not want to spoil any part of it. Unidas en Cristo, which means United in Christ, is part of the Cursillo movement. Many denominations have their own specific program, which, by my understanding, follows the same basic format for the weekends. Some of the other, similar programs include Via de Cristo, Walk to Emmaus, and Kairos, which is a prison ministry. Basically, the weekend is a means to develop or strengthen a persons faith in Jesus as our Savior and Redeemer. I knew that much going in, but I was not prepared for the many extraordinary things that happened. I saw God working through the Holy Spirit through out the weekend. I really do wish I could say more, but I will tell you this; I came away with a much deeper faith, a clearer understanding of the things I need to change in myself, and a clear call to share the Word of God out in the community. Those of you who have programs such as this in your region, I cannot give you enough encouragement to go, sign up and do it. You will not regret it, I can guarantee that. Most programs will require that if married, both persons must go. There were men this last weekend who were more or less pushed into going by their wives. (I was not one of these.) At the end of the weekend, these men were proclaiming themselves as changed men, and expressing how thankful they were that that their wives "forced" them to attend. But in the end, we realize, it is God who put all of us there together for this amazing weekend. I will share more later, but for now, if you are interested, I have put a link to the Unido en Cristos home page on my sidebar. Use the links button at their home page to find programs in your area or denomination. God bless each of you today, Ken

posted by the voice @ 6:45 AM 5 comments

Nothing yet...

Sorry folks, nothing new today. Still feeling rather yucky and tired, and just not very coherent. Hopefully, I will post tommorow, otherwise you'll have to wait for next week. I am curious though, what others feel about the Old Testament, as far as it's relevence today. Do you believe everything in it to be literally true? Or is it much of it just made up, as lessons for the early Hebrews? Is it relevent for today? I plan on doing some posts which will deal, in part, with the Old Testament, in the near future. I would love to hear your views on this. All I ask is that you be honest. God bless you today, Ken

posted by the voice @ 10:20 AM 6 comments

The fog is clearing

Ugh. That pretty much sums up what I've felt like the last three and a half days. A nasty head cold sapped me of not only all my energy, but of all coherent thought also. I was looking back on some comments I left at others blogs, and I couldn't believe all the spelling errors I made. I'm just now starting to feel better, which is good, as I am scheduled to go to Unidos en Christos this week. This is a 3 1/2 day study retreat, running Thursday through Sunday. We asked to leave watches, clocks, cell phones, PDA's, and such at home, and to concentrate on the experience. Men go one week, and ladies go the next week. I cannot tell you much more than that, as that is pretty much all I know. We have had a number of couples from our church, including our former Pastor and his wife, go through the weekend, and they all rave about it. They just won't be specific about what happens there. I will fill you all in next week, unless they swear me to secrecy, in which case I will tell you, but then I'll have to kill you after. Just kidding. Maybe. Anyway, please pray that not only will I be healthy by then, but that God will work in me, and that I will be receptive to what He is saying. Thanks for your prayers, and may God bless each of you! Ken

posted by the voice @ 7:52 AM 5 comments

Lessons in verse

posted by the voice @ 8:16 AM 3 comments

I've run out of words

Some days, I spend so much time commenting on other blogs, that I end up with no time to do my own. Today is one of those days. Or it might be that I have nothing to say. Hmmm.... Anyway, God bless everyone, have a great Friday! Ken

posted by the voice @ 8:45 AM 4 comments

I am...

I have seen these so called "meme's" come and go, and I have never really done one. Until now, that is. So here is my somewhat feeble attempt:

I AM a fairly private person in real life.

I WANT to return to Africa.

I WISH our leaders (both parties) would remember “the people.”

I HATE people who are full of themselves.

I MISS my parents.

I HEAR the refrigerator running.

I WONDER what the future holds.

I REGRET not choosing a different career path.

I AM NOT a slow driver.

I DANCE far too seldom.

I SING terribly.

I CRY during movies.

I AM NOT ALWAYS a good person.

I MAKE WITH MY HANDS delicious meals?

I WRITE as I feel God leads me.

I CONFUSE what I want with what God wants.

I NEED a job I can be happy at.

I SHOULD join Josh at seminary.

I START things, but never seem to finish them.

I FINISH second (or last) graciously.

I TAG Josh, and anyone else who hasn’t done this. Leave me note in the comment section, and I’ll come see yours too.

posted by the voice @ 8:02 AM 4 comments

Changes

Well, you might have noticed I changed my template. I heard from more than one person that it was difficult to read, and I saw first hand what it looked like on someone else's computer. Apparently different computers and/or monitors make a huge difference in how it appears. I like this template better, anyway, so until I change my mind again, this is it. Highlight: Saturday evening, my wife and I went to see Casting Crowns and Nichole Nordeman in concert. We had pretty good seats, straight out from the stage, and four rows above the main floor. The concert was fantastic, although I would have liked to have heard a little more from Nichole. If you haven't heard music by either band, I highly recommend both of them. They both did an awesome show. That's all I've got for now. I have a little tweaking to do yet, so if things go a little "funny", bear with me. God bless each of you! Ken

posted by the voice @ 10:13 PM 3 comments